My Birthday & My Kid with Jodie Foster's Beaver

During last night's Q&A at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Jodie Foster was asked how an unknown writer could get someone like Foster to look at her script. Foster's new film, The Beaver, was written by a 1st time unknown writer which was sent to Foster by her agent and which had been listed as one of the top 100 unknown (or unmade? something like that...) scripts. In short, Foster said, if something is good it'll rise. That perhaps she was a little naive in this area but she believed that talent can prevail.

It's like I tell Sophie, there is always room for people who are good at what they do! Don't worry about the competition. If you're good, you're good and there is always room for people who are good at what they do!

Foster said that casting, funding and making an independent feature film is difficult even for an 'A Lister' like herself. As a director she is just so pleased that she has made it that it doesn't really matter to her if people go to see it. She said that every second on the screen she wanted there and she is very satisfied with the end result.

Foster is beautiful, talented, vulnerable. wears her life, soul and heart on her sleeve and considers her work to be therapy.

Foster enjoys making 'delicate' films. She has been offered big movies to direct but is quite content making small films. She finds some people easy to both direct and act with while with some other actors it becomes a more arguous process.

When I used to envision what motherhood would be like I could never see past the toddler years. But if anyone would have told me that I would spend my 44th birthday at the Film Society of Lincoln Center with my 19 year old daughter for an 'Evening with Jodie Foster' I would have approved. It was an ideal evening which soothed my soul and positively influenced, inspired and invigorated my child.

As far as the the title of Jodie Foster's new film. She loves it, loves saying it and loves joking about it. She seems to keep everything in perspective and to be a woman who has learned from both what she has done in her life as well as what life has dealt her and given to her. Basically, she's a woman of substance and character who seems to live beyond her fears to achieve the dreams that she can imagine and we are all blessed to experience.

I remember when I was a kid and Tom Sawyer came on TV. There was this strong, opinionated, fearless girl taking on Tom. She was my idle. I'll never forget how cool Becky was. To know Becky is the Coppertone Girl, the totally cool daughter in Freaky Fridayl and the woman who made last night's The Beaver and so many more in between simply puts a smile on my face! Always her own girl. Now her own woman. Strong headed. Graceful. Always the professional and simply a wonderful role model for those who follow. There is a certain sense of happiness and comfort with this knowledge. Some people trying know their actions matter and live their life accordingly. We need more people like this in the industry because what we program and create is what we share with the world.

Does Black Friday Shopping Mean Savings?

I like to shop. I'm thrifty and frugal. Therefore, I like decent prices.

You'd think Black Friday would be a great time to get great deals. But maybe that's not the case when we take a closer look.

Yesterday I was at the Premium Outlet Mall in Orlando. Sophie and I were there in early October as well when we went to Disney to celebrate her birthday and visit Mickey's Not-So-Scary!

We bought Sophie a Donna Karen New York black wool peacoat on sale and half off! The full price was $375. We felt $187.50 for a classic coat that she should get years of wear out of was reasonable.

Yesterday, I revisited DKNY because Miss Sophie had somehow lost the belt to the coat and I was trying to see if it was possible to replace it before her spring trip to NYC.

Low and behold! The very same coat was no longer on sale. Instead, it was back to the original price of $375.00. My guess is come Black Friday the prices will be marked back down (hopefully) to were they were when we bought the jacket over a month ago.

It seems Black Friday is more of a sales gimmick to deceive buyers into making purchases that were actually just as low or lower just months earlier.

Thank goodness we shop in October for Christmas. It seems like retailers are playing Scrooge to customers.

My guess is that mid-December will be a cheaper time to shop than Black Friday.

I understand the retailers point of view (but as a consumer, I care about my point of view and my wallet only!) It's supply and demand. Why make things super cheap on the busiest sales day of the year? No one shops in October. Lower prices then. Everyone shops the day after Thanksgiving. Pretend to lower prices then.

Retirement Plans for Teens

Since Sophie is self-employed and just turned 19-years-old we've started to look into retirement plans for her. Since she lives at home, she can put money away that she would otherwise need for bills.

Her goals are to:
1. Never retire as she plans on acting forever but to be able to retire at 70-years-old.
2. Have a million dollars saved by the time she's 70-years-old.
3. She's planning for a life-expectancy of 95 years.

So the questions are:
1. Which retirement plan is best suited for her needs and goals?
2. How does she want to invest? Stocks? Funds? Aggressively? Conservatively?
3. Does a 401K or IRA plan better suit her goals?
4. Does she want to pay her taxes now or when she withdraws the funds?


It seems like everyday we find a different plan that seems to best suit her needs.

Today, I was sure the Self-Employment 401K (also known as the Solo 401K or the Individual 401K) seemed perfect. She could sock away $16,500 annually and up to a total of $49,000 annually (as of 2010)... if she could. Taxes are deferred. This is probably the most lucrative tax shelter plan on the market and only available to self-employed individuals with no employees.

We discussed it. She felt it was a good fit.

Next was the task of finding the right company or brokerage firm.
1. Vanguard charges maintenance fees unless there is at least $50K in at least one of the owners accounts. She doesn't qualify.
2. Sharebuilders only allows you to purchase funds (no stock purchases allowed) and charges a set up fee of something like $165.00.
3. Fidelity allows for the purchase of funds or stocks with no set up fee, annual fee or monthly fees. The cost to the client is the cost of each transaction which is $8 per buy.

We decided to go with Fidelity. I drove over to Tampa, picked up the booklet and began to fill out the forms.


Apparently, you must agree upfront to deposit a specific amount into the account each year. We do not know at this time how much she wants to invest. Now we're stumped. Maybe we should buy stocks through Sharebuilders and move it mid December. At that point we could determine the total contribution amount which doesn't need to be deposited in full until April 15, 2011 unless she gets an extension. Don't know. It's food for thought at the moment.

One of the nice things about a Self-Employment 401K is the leeway one has when it comes to purchases. She could buy a house within the plan. That being said, if she were to do that she would lose the annual tax write-offs. Nonetheless, the flexibility is nice.

The bottom line is to save for her future. Her goals are extremely reasonable. She'll have a hard time not reaching them if she diligently saves, especially this early in the game.

Sophie has agreed to put 15% of her earnings into long term savings. This will allow her to save for other things as well and not make her feel like her savings goals are strangling her lifestyle.

These goals will also allow her to flail about as an actress without having to worry about her future - if need be. Hopefully, this won't be a concern but if it is it will be reassuring that her future is taken care of.

W.I.F.E. T-Shirt

Sophie and I saw this t-shirt on a guy while vacationing in Barcelona. It was the first time I had seen it. Wow!

That being said, I had no problem at all finding it again on the internet for this photo. The full photo consists of a cute young woman (who appears completely senseless with this top on) with a huge grin on her face.

Sooo, is she a W.I.F.E. ??? Is she just happy someone wants to take her picture so she feels further validated in her beauty and desire to call herself a model? Who would want to promote such nonsense... man or woman?

Today in Sophie's Ethics class she asked two people what the definition of 'wife' was. The female said that a wife was the person who took care of the children, cooked, did the laundry, etc. The male said the wife was a life partner, companion, someone to share with and to talk to. (Is it noteworthy that the male is gay? Don't know.)

So... is the female in Sophie's class really dreaming so high as to hope to become some one's free maid, cook and childcare provider? Who taught her these were life's goals and achievements? I'm not against household chores as long as they are shared or done by a paid employee. All the chores in the home being done by one person so the rest of the family can rest on their laurels isn't an acceptable solution.

In any case, it got me thinking of other acronyms for Wife.

Why
Inhibit
Future
Experiences

Sophie has added our newly adapted version of 'wife' to her Facebook.

I suppose my job as a mother is now complete.

I'm all for love. I'm not sure I see the point to marriage. I think fighting for a gay's right to marriage is an absurdity when the institution is broken. On the other hand, if it's going to exist at all then it should exist equally for all.

Chatty on Airplanes

When Sophie and I were walking out of the airplane ready to switch planes she started laughing and said how chatty I was on airplanes considering how I'm not much for talking to strangers elsewhere.

On our way to Barcelona, we sat next to this very interesting, pretty 20-something lady from Poland who lives in Atlanta with her boyfriend and his two children and is an Economic student, but plans to return to school to become an oral surgeon who specializes in reconstructive dental work for children. She, her mother, brother and most of the people from her home town in Poland suffer from Graves disease as a result of the winds during Chernobyl. She has a great fear of flying so I talked to her during take off and landing reassuring her that the likelihood of problems were weak as well and if anything did happen we would die almost instantly so we'd never really go through any sort of pain or suffering.

Sophie took my lead as we were walking on a catwalk in Biblao's Guggenheim and began telling me that if I fell we were so high up that I would just splat and be dead instantly. No the ground wasn't shaking as I began to sink with wobbly legs now holding me tenuously not wanting to hold onto the thin cable wiring as it was far too close to the edge and it was evident a person could easily fall to their death. Sophie informed me she was just using the same tactic as I used on the lady on the airplane. I explained that it worked for the lady, so the results weren't the same. I did not take the catwalk again. I believe the Polish lady will fly again perhaps with a little reassurance that once she's up in the air the plane will probably not fail as the most dangerous times to fly are during take off and landing. While, I will probably not ever take the catwalk at Bilbao's Guggenheim again, at least not with Sophie as that seems to be the most dangerous time.

On the return flight, Sophie's TV wasn't working so she found another seat further back in the plane and I spoke to the 30-something man originally from Barcelona who has lived in LA for the past 16-years. He originally arrived in LA via his student visa attending The Pasadena Art and Design Center for film as an undergrad, then UCLA for Fine Arts as a grad. He has kind words to say about UCLA's Fine Arts Program at a Graduate level. He still lives in LA, although he spent the past year-and-a-half in Amsterdam, and works as a video artist. He shows around the city, feels there are more artists in LA than in NY, and screens the works of other video artists from around the world in LA galleries. He went home because his work was part of the Loop Festival which took place in Barcelona while we were there. It also gave him time to see his family. He parents flew into town from Northern Spain and his sister is pregnant with her second child. It was an LA art gallery that got him in the show in Barcelona which he found ironic seeing as though it is his hometown. It took him about 10 years to get used to LA. Now he likes it very much. He feels that LA dismisses history and is not tied down by it as many old European cities are. He feels these ties can often bind a city keeping it from progressing as it might otherwise. He also said the French are as bad to the Spanish as they are to other foreigners reconfirming my decision not to attend subject myself to the French during this European visit.

Yes, I enjoy talking to people on airplanes.

Come-Ons and Machine Guns

Sophie: It's kind of creepy when the guy hitting on you is carrying a machine gun... especially when he's serious.

A Non Commercial Mother's Day

Yesterday Sophie asked if we could celebrate Mother's Day a day early because her new job asked if she'd work a double shift on Mother's Day. I willing agreed as I don't care when it is celebrated rather just that it is celebrated.

Sophie made me a new set of dreads and put them in for me. That was my gift.

Today, it occurred to me that Sophie has never bought a card or a gift for me. Instead, each year I have received handmade presents and cards.

There was a year when she really wanted to buy me a card. Her argument was that store bought cards were nicer. I clarified my position by stating that no card could ever be more special than one made with love. Stores and consumerism want people to think store bought is better so they don't go out of business and we 'do our part' to stimulate the economy. I, on the other hand, do not subscribe to that rhetoric and know full well the best card or gift is the one my child makes me. The conversation never came up again. I've steadily received cards for all major holidays and gifts (generally jewelry - bracelets and necklaces) for Christmas and my birthday.

My birthday just passed. I received a pop-up card - stemming from Sophie's design class and the pop-up book she recently designed - and a long beaded necklace. For Mother's Day, I've had the joy of tons of compliments on my new dreads which Sophie made and put in yesterday. Celebrating a day early was a great way to go since I've spent Mother's Day being complimented on my fantastic dreads!

Consumerism is overrated. Love isn't...

Antibes and the Cannes Film Festival

Sophie and I are heading down to the Cannes Film Festival for 11 days. We are both very excited. She's soooo big now. She's like a little girl, but all grown up. As she grows up it's just instinctual to give her more and more freedom and responsibility.

Last year, she chose not to come to Cannes. She felt she was better off remaining here for her studies. I allowed her to make this decision but completely disagreed with it. This year, she's coming. A lot of the rebellious teen aspect of mid teens is being, or has been, replaced with the desire to experience... well, Cannes.


We'll be staying very near where we used to live in Antibes. I'm looking forward to returning to both the area and the festival. This will be my third year going. It's fun and exciting and each year has already proved to be different, even though this year has yet to begin.

Sophie is working for both of the festivals this year. She's got both a lot of freedom and responsibility. She'll watch shorts and we've picked out 12 features we'd like to see. There is also a meeting with a prod comp she might handle, plus whatever else she ends up experiencing in Cannes. Oh yeah, promotion. We're equipped!

I've been very excited about going to the beach at the Cap D'Antibes. It's a lovely place to float around in the clear, warm water. I even bought a bathing suit! I've since realized it's not July or August and probably not bathing suit weather. Oh well. I'm bringing the bathing suit anyway!

Can't wait for the Chinese food down there! It's cheap and good! There are some great Chinese restaurants in Cannes, Nice and Antibes. Its so exciting to know we're going to be able to eat our little hearts out again.

We're also looking forward to the clothing market in Antibes. It's huge. It happens on Tuesday and Thursday. I can't remember which day has the larger open air market. We might just have to go to them both! Clothes, shoes, bags, beach wear. You name. It's there and it's cheap! Oh! There is a guy with a little jewelry stand. He sells super cheap lapis, amethyst, jade, and other semi-precious stones. Lovely simple jewelry made from silver and stone. I think he charge 6 or 8 euro per gram.

We will probably also stop by the Provencal Open Air Food Market in Antibes. It's lovely. Our favorite olive spread comes from there.

We've also experience so wonderful local music and events in Antibes. Sure hope some of it is going on while we're down there. It would be nice to take part!

Taking Your Teen to Amsterdam

A couple years ago, Sophie and I spent a few days in Amsterdam. We had a great time but I wasn't planning on returning just because I want to experience as many European cities as possible while I have such easy access since I currently live in France.

Last summer, four of Sophie's teenage friends rode their bicycles from Strasbourg to Amsterdam. Ever since, Sophie had been saying how she wanted to take a trip to Amsterdam with her friends. I really didn't want my teenage daughter running off to Amsterdam unescorted by an adult.

Recently, she has been talking more and more about how much she wants to go to Amsterdam before returning to the States for college. The more she talked about it the more concerned I become about it. French parents see to be a lot more free and easy with their children than American parents... or maybe I'm just stricter than 99.99999% of French parents. Nonetheless, I don't want my teenager in Amsterdam with only her teen friends. I just sounds like trouble waiting to happen.

Therefore, I asked Sophie how she felt about going to Amsterdam with me for a week. I said that it would be our trip before she went back to the States. I told her that she could pick the city, that it didn't have to be Amsterdam but it could be up to her. She was excited and wanted to go!

This choice meant that she could revisit Amsterdam which her heart had been craving while I could have the mother's comfort of knowing where my child was, who she was with in a strange city, and not needing to worry about what she might encounter while traveling to this city which can probably get rather wild at times. Basically, it worked out well for both of us.

Our week long trip to Amsterdam was the best trip we've taken together in years.

Wanna read Sophie's take on Amsterdam? Read here!